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As a manager, delivering constructive feedback is crucial for your employees’ growth. However, not everyone may be receptive to hearing it. While challenging, navigating these difficult conversations confidently and productively is possible by adopting a coaching approach.
While not wrong, the typical “sandwich” approach can sometimes obscure the core issue by focusing too much on the positive. Instead, try shifting your mindset to view these interactions as collaborative discussions rather than conflicts. By approaching them with a coaching mentality, you’ll foster a more open and receptive environment where you and your employees are eager to engage in productive conversations that lead to positive change.
Here’s how to confidently dare to have difficult conversations while wearing your coaching hat.
1. Shift from Teacher to Coach
When approaching a difficult conversation, shifting your mindset from being a teacher to being a coach is important. Instead of feeling like you have to make all the decisions and provide all the answers, be curious and open mind your mind during the conversation to listen to what they have to say. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to reflect and come up with solutions on their own.
2. Use Facts
Before the conversation, take some time to prepare. Gather specific examples of the behavior or performance you want to address. The better if you have metrics or trends that you can show. You want to be as assertive as possible and to do that, you need facts. They need to see what you are seeing and what you would expect to see in the future, without any value judgments such as “this is unacceptable.” Be clear about what you think is acceptable, providing details. On the other side, don’t spend so much preparing that you take one month to discuss the problem. Offer the feedback as soon as you can so that the details are still fresh.
3. Use Positivity: The 3-to-1 Ratio
During conversations, it’s important to acknowledge what the employee is doing well, highlight their strengths, and genuinely work together to find how they can use these strengths to solve any problems. Use the 3-to-1 ratio, known as the Losada proportion, to share three positive observations for every piece of constructive feedback. This helps to create a balanced and supportive atmosphere, making it easier for the employee to accept and act on the feedback. For instance, you might say, “I’ve noticed that you handle client interactions very professionally and your reports are always thorough. There’s one area I’d like to discuss that could enhance your performance even further.”
4. Be Curious
Even though you may be confident about what you want the employee to work on, you may want to be patient and explore their perspective, being genuinely curious about it. Demonstrating empathy is crucial in building trust and rapport. Show that you understand the employee’s perspective and acknowledge their feelings. Use active listening techniques such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, and summarizing their points to ensure they feel heard. This helps to create a safe space where they can openly share their thoughts and concerns.
5. Focus on Behavior, Not the Person
When delivering constructive feedback, focus on specific behaviors or actions rather than making it personal. This helps to prevent the employee from feeling attacked or demoralized. For example, instead of saying, “You’re always late,” you could say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been arriving after our scheduled start time several times this month, on x dates. Would you be up to discussing what might be causing this and how we can address it?”
6. Collaborate on Solutions
Encourage the employee to participate in finding solutions. Ask questions like, “What do you think could help you improve in this area?” or “How can I support you in achieving this goal?” This collaborative approach fosters a sense of partnership and shared responsibility. It also helps the employee to feel more invested in the outcome. Provide clear, specific, and actionable feedback. Outline the desired performance expectations, the timeline for improvement, and the support available.
7. Follow Up and Provide Ongoing Support
After the conversation, following up and providing ongoing support is important. Check-in regularly to discuss progress and offer additional guidance if needed. Celebrate improvements and continue to provide positive reinforcement. This helps to reinforce the coaching relationship and demonstrates your commitment to their development.
Establishing a culture where feedback is a regular and expected part of the workplace helps normalize difficult conversations, reduce resistance and make feedback part of your day to day.
Communicating difficult conversations with confidence requires a thoughtful and compassionate approach. You can navigate these conversations effectively by shifting from a teacher to a coach. Remember, the goal is to help your employees grow and succeed, and a coaching approach can make all the difference.