There are those co-workers who you just don’t want to be friends with. Sometimes, the feeling will be mutual. Other times it won’t be. In the latter case, uncomfortable situations can arise.
For example, they might consistently ask you to lunch. No matter how many excuses you invent, they don’t seem to be deterred.
There is an easy way to get out of this situation that doesn’t require you to outright lie, says Sara Jane Ho. Ho is the founder of the finishing school Institute Sarita, host of the Netflix show “Mind Your Manners,” and author of an upcoming book, also called “Mind Your Manners.”
Her advice: accept the invitation. Just don’t go.
‘Organize it, cancel last minute’
This doesn’t mean stand up your co-worker. You don’t want an office nemesis, after all. Instead, say yes to the invitation, but make it a larger group outing. Right before everyone is about to leave, bow out.
“Say, ‘Oh, that’s a great idea. Can we get Tim and Alison as well?,'” Ho says. “And then once you organize it, cancel last minute, and let them go.”
Your colleague will interpret your inviting others as a sign that you did want to come to lunch, without you actually having to attend the meal.
Another way to appease an especially chatty co-worker is to spend some time with them at company holiday party or happy hour, Brandon Smith, a therapist and executive coach known as The Workplace Therapist, told CNBC Make It last year.
Just be sure to set some boundaries around when you’re leaving.
“Make enough of an appearance to show you want to build relationships but leave early enough before the conversation starts to move away from professional topics,” he says.
Stay for 30 minutes to an hour, then let everyone know you have somewhere else to be. “In the absence of communication people assume the worst,” he says. “Have some reason you have to go.”
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