How to overcome public opinion (1), By Sunday Adelaja

The fear of public opinion, what others think about us is something very real to everyone living in our modern age. The fact that we all grow up in a community, we all live in a neighborhood and interact in the society at large, puts some pressure on all of us to some extent. We feel the burden to please others on our shoulders. We are mindful of what others think about us.

“To change the world, one has to ignore its residents.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana,

Moreover, we all have an ego. Our ego desires that we be accepted. Our self-esteem needs to be reassured of public acceptance. We all one way or another aspire to create a public image of ourselves. Feelings of shame, guilt and outcast are universal. We do everything possible to run away from them as much as possible. We don’t like to be ashamed. We would rather conform than be shamed.

As a result, we are always on our guards, trying to be on the lookout for any dent on our carefully molded image. Even though we are all obviously imperfect as the case may be, yet we strive to carefully shield it just to avoid the shame. Shaming is one of the most detrimental forms of punishment. Everybody has an inbuilt instinct to run away from shame. This has contributed in no small manner to the power of public opinion over us.

Since shame comes mainly from the people we know or interact with, it therefore leads to a kind of phobia. We automatically run away from it, because we don’t want to face the shame. Especially from the community where we live. The fear of public opinion is especially fueled by the realization that I am still coming back home. I have got to come back to this same community. That realization that I still need to meet this people again, I need to live among them, work among them and interact with them, intensifies the fear of public opinion.

“Public opinion is a permeating influence, and it exacts obedience to itself; it requires us to drink other men’s thoughts, to speak other men’s words, to follow other men’s habits.” – Walter Bagehot

Again, this concretely has to do with the fear of being shamed. We are most likely less concerned in a situation where we would not need to come back to a given community, city or society. People who realize that they would not be apprehended by certain group of people could feel freer than those who know for sure that they are going to be recognized the next day by their neighbors. 

Apart from shame, another factor that is responsible for the fear of public opinion is the feeling of guilt. This is another human feeling that is extremely destructive. Guilt by itself could be dangerous when an individual puts that feeling upon himself without the accusation of others. Guilt can eat up an individual like cancer.

When other people’s voices are added to the accusing voice of guilt, then it can totally annihilate the individual. The destruction could be great indeed. It could both be emotional, mental or even physical. That is why in a lot of ancient cultures, guilt was used as an instrument of crime prevention, along side shame. Normally people who commit crimes are only needed to be taken back to their communities, towns and villages to be publicly exposed. That in turn is used to scare and frighten other citizens to discourage them from similar offenses in the future. That is the power of public opinion being used as an instrument of justice.

“There are certain times when public opinion is the worst of all opinions.” – Nicolas Chamfort

Some offenders in some other cultures are publicly executed or punished as in some Islamic nations today. So this is maximizing the fear of public opinion to prevent crimes and uncalled for behaviors. Apart from the extremely destructive effect these actions have on the guilty party, families and relatives of such people suffer the consequences for generations to come.

Yet another reason why people are panicky before the power of public opinion, is the fear of being ostracized. No one wants to be an outcast in his very community. Nobody desires to be ostracized from his neighborhood. Nobody wants to be ostracized from his city, country or from his society. Recognition and acceptance are some of the fundamental human needs.

We need to be accepted. We possess the need of being accepted. It is legitimate to want to be recognized. It is an inherent feeling inbuilt in us that we should be recognized. Both those basic human needs are completely destroyed when you are ostracized from our very family or community. Shame, guilt, being an outcast, fuel the fear of public opinion.

As we can see, our fear of public opinion is so powerful, because it is inherently connected to the fundamental human needs of man. The need to be accepted, the need to be celebrated, the need to be recognized, the need to be honored, the need to feel important, the need for worth, the need to be understood and the need to feel needed.

Because these needs are so basic to man, psychologically we don’t want to live without them. It is difficult. Especially when you need to go against a large population of people who are all opposing you. In such cases you need a lot of will power and inner strength to simply survive it. No wonder public opinion has become a powerful control factor in our world today. To be continued.

Sunday Adelaja is a Nigeria born leader, transformation strategist, pastor and innovator. He was based in Kiev Ukraine