If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed with emotion in the office, you might have been experiencing workplace “vertigo,” says Dan L. Shapiro, the director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program. Shapiro is also the author of “Negotiating the Nonnegotiable.”
Vertigo often happens when you’re negotiating a raise or pitching an idea and met with unexpected feedback or criticism. Even if your thoughts are rational, your actions might represent a more emotional response.
“A lot of that cerebral [thought] has emotional underpinnings and those emotional underpinnings are coming from what we feel in our bodies,” he says. “If you’re not aware of it you will react wrongly to it most of the time.”
Here’s how to know you’re experiencing vertigo in the workplace, and how to remain composed during potentially contentious conversations.
‘What’s my purpose?’
Perhaps a manager is ignorant of the role you played in a recent successful project. Or maybe a colleague is attempting to push their workload onto your plate. Situations like these can be frustrating and make you feel undervalued.
“Vertigo is that feeling when you get really consumed in a conflict,” Shapiro says. “Maybe the boss puts you down, maybe they intended it, maybe they didn’t. Either way, your brain swells with emotions.”
Your heart might start beating faster and your thoughts might start to quicken.
If you don’t recognize that you’re experiencing vertigo, you could react in a more temperamental manner than is appropriate.
Vertigo is that feeling when you get really consumed in a conflict.
Dan L. Shapiro
director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program
To avoid this, give yourself a pep talk before any friction-prone meeting. Remember what exactly you’re trying to communicate during this conversation.
“Before you even walk into a meeting with your boss ask yourself, ‘What’s my purpose and what’s my agenda?'” Shapiro says.
If and when things get heated, “pause and take a breath.” This can help you regain control. Then, recall the purpose you set for yourself earlier.
“Move back to the rational headspace,” Shapiro says. “Your purpose is to let the boss know how hard you have been working . Your purpose is to let your boss know that you respect them. Your purpose is to get advice on how to navigate this time in your career.”
If you want a meeting to feel productive, focus on what you want to accomplish and don’t get distracted by how a certain statement or perception makes you feel.
This can help you work your way out of a state of vertigo and back into a mindset where you can actually have a collaborative conversation, not a conflictual one.
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