Mentoring is essential to leading in complexity.
Disruption a constant in most industries today. It also creates enormous opportunities to rise in organizations if we are able to grow our capacity to lead in complexity and ambiguity. A significant part of being able to lead in disruption is having the capacity to see around corners and anticipate what is emerging. We do that by tapping into a wider network of people, by engaging with and developing mentoring relationships across all levels in the hierarchy, with peers, and with stakeholders who have different perspectives so we can see a bigger picture.
Mentoring relationships allow us to get new information, learn new skills and get the benefit of others’ experience. They help us develop trusted partnerships with others and create connection and belonging in the workplace.
Yet, with the importance of mentoring today, only 37% of people in the workplace report having mentors. To help each of us get better at mentorship as a key competency of leading today, I sat down with Ruth Gotian, co-author (with Andy Lopata) of the Financial Times Guide to Mentoring.
H. Inam: What are the most important benefits for mentees and mentors to develop mentoring relationships?
R. Gotian: There are many benefits for both mentors and mentees. Let’s start with mentees. Mentees often experience faster career progression and are more likely to receive promotions. They also benefit from new perspective and skill development. Mentors provide guidance and feedback that help mentees develop new skills and enhance existing ones. Mentees gain access to their mentor’s professional network, opening doors to new opportunities. Importantly, in a traditional mentoring relationship regular support and encouragement from a mentor can boost a mentee’s confidence and self-esteem. Mentored individuals often report higher job satisfaction and lower rates of burnout.
In addition to benefits for mentees, often mentors report many benefits as well. They often find satisfaction in helping others grow and succeed. It helps them grow their legacy. Mentoring can also improve a mentor’s leadership, communication, and coaching skills. In peer-to-peer or reverse mentoring situations, a mentor learns from their mentee and has access to new information and perspectives. Jack Welch initiated this when the internet first emerged and the junior employees took to it easier than the senior leaders. He told the senior leaders to learn from the junior employees. Often, mentors gain fresh insights and perspectives from their mentees. Nobel Prize winner Dr. Robert Lefkowitz mentored hundreds of mentees.
H. Inam: Given these benefits, what percentage of professionals have mentors? What are the barriers that prevent these professionals from being mentored?
R. Gotian: Despite the clear benefits, only about 37% of professionals have mentors. Several barriers prevent more widespread mentorship. These include lack of awareness of the benefits of mentorship. In addition, some individuals are afraid to ask for mentorship, fearing they will be turned down. Many professionals often do not know how to find and approach potential mentors. Both potential mentees and mentors may feel they do not have the time to commit to a mentoring relationship.
H. Inam: What are some tools your book suggests to overcome these barriers?
R. Gotian: The book, Financial Times Guide to Mentoring, offers several tools to overcome these barriers. It provides practical tips for expanding your network and finding potential mentors organically. It provides guidance on how to approach and ask someone to be your mentor (hint—you never actually ask them!). It offers strategies for managing time effectively to accommodate a mentoring relationship. It helps you get techniques for setting clear goals and expectations to ensure a productive mentoring relationship, and how to hold each other accountable. Those who want to check if their mentoring relationship is optimized can access a free assessment.
H. Inam: At any career stage, can you share a step-by-step plan for someone who wants to get mentored by others?
Ruth Gotian: Here is the step-by-step plan.
1. Self-Assessment: Identify your career goals and your knowledge gaps. What are and the areas where you need guidance?
2. Research: Look for professionals at work, stakeholders, others in your field who have the experience and expertise you seek.
3. Networking: Find the right people in the workplace. Attend industry events, join professional organizations, and connect with potential mentors through LinkedIn.
4. Initial Contact: Reach out to potential mentors with a concise and respectful message explaining why you admire their work and how it aligns with your work or aspirations. Be specific.
5. Formal Request: Once initial rapport is established, explain what you are working on, where you are stuck and why you feel they can help you (for example, they have expertise in this area), and how much time you need from them – time and context is critical here.
6. Set Expectations: If it is a more formal arrangement, discuss and agree on the frequency and mode of communication, as well as mutual expectations.
7. Active Engagement: Be proactive in seeking advice, be open to feedback, and regularly update your mentor on your progress. Follow up is critical!
8. Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for their time and guidance, and look for ways to add value to the relationship. See what you can offer to help them with.
H. Inam: What does the data suggest are markers of a great mentoring relationship?
R. Gotian: From our work, there are several markers of a great mentoring relationship. First is trust and respect. Both parties trust and respect each other’s insights and experiences. Second, open, honest, and regular communication is maintained. Third, both mentor and mentee have aligned goals and expectations. Fourth, both mentor and mentee feel they are gaining value from the relationship. Fifth, constructive feedback is given and received, leading to personal and professional growth. And finally, both parties are committed to the relationship and invest the necessary time and effort.
H. Inam: What mindsets do we need to cultivate to get into great mentoring relationships?
R. Gotian: Yes, there are several mindsets that help us develop great mentoring relationships. First, be open to new ideas, feedback, and perspectives. Second, embrace a mindset focused on continuous learning and improvement. Take initiative in seeking mentorship and actively engaging in the relationship. Patience is important. Understand that building a strong mentoring relationship takes time and effort. Finally, it’s important to appreciate the mentor’s time, effort, and guidance.
H. Inam: What are the most important habits and practices to cultivate to develop strong mentoring relationships?
Ruth Gotian: Have consistent check-ins and maintain open lines of communication. Practice active listening to understand and absorb the mentor’s advice. Follow-through is key. Act on the guidance and feedback provided by the mentor. Regularly reflect on your progress and discuss it with your mentor. Regularly thank your mentor and acknowledge their contributions to your growth as well as the impact the mentoring has had on you. Be willing to adapt and make changes based on the mentor’s feedback.
H. Inam: What makes you passionate about this topic?
R. Gotian: My mentor told me six words that changed my life “Do something important, not just interesting.” I was older when I decided to go back to school and get my doctorate. When I was discussing with my mentor my interest in studying success, those six words changed my research from an institutional study to a global one. That change the trajectory of my career. For decades before that, I have been mentoring hundreds of people and nothing makes me happier than hearing their success stories (The book shares the story of how someone I mentored reached out to me years later. She was about to give up on her career in medicine. Our one conversation changed everything for her. What was a relatively meaningless conversation for me, was meaningful to her. That’s the best part of mentoring. We often don’t even realize that impact we have on people). I’ve also been blessed with some incredible mentors and a few bad ones (which I call tormentors).