Recent research has a counterintuitive finding: People who have suffered troubles at work may not be effective in helping other employees experiencing similar distress. Those who have not endured the same thing are more likely to be more effective. In trying to help employees in distress, leaders should focus on each person’s experience, not their own; validate their pain; and get the facts and ask questions to learn how they might help the employee. Leaders should also consider having someone who has not suffered the same problem mentor the person.
Think back to the last time you were struggling at work. If you chose to share your distress with a colleague, to whom did you turn? Many of us intuitively look to our colleagues who have experienced our same struggles, but our recently published research suggests you should rethink this approach. In a series of three studies, more than 600 employees from multiple industries across the United States told us about their experiences in sharing their work-related angst with others and how they responded to others who were experiencing such difficulties. Our finding: It is not always wise to seek support from colleagues who have been in the same situation.