Try to rephrase your challenge through a lens of curiosity.
Steve Jobs famously spoke these final words as he lay on his deathbed: “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.” Jobs’ sister, Mona Simpson, was there beside him and wrote in her eulogy about this moment saying, “With that will, that work ethic, that strength, there was also sweet Steve’s capacity for wonderment.” Above fear, anxiety, sadness, and a whole slew of other emotions, Jobs expressed curiosity.
This tells us a lot about how powerful of an emotion curiosity can be. Learn to channel curiosity, and you can increase your productivity and resilience. Research even shows that curiosity will make you more energetic.
The good news is that curiosity isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s more like a muscle. Practice approaching the world with curiosity, and you’ll develop that muscle. Pretty soon curiosity becomes a habit—your go-to mindset.
Here are two examples of how you can use curiosity as an emotional intelligence (EQ) strategy.
Curiosity Makes You More Productive: A Lesson From Author Haruki Murakami
In 1987, Japanese author Haruki Murakami finished the first draft of his first novel, Hear the Wind Sing. He was not pleased with the result. “When I read the result, I was far from impressed,” he writes in his recent book, Novelist As A Vocation. “My book was rather boring,” he added. He even considered giving up—both on his book and on himself as a writer.
But, as Murakami thought about his book, he realized what was holding him back. He was trying too hard to “write something novelistic” and to “create something sophisticated.” So, he did something interesting. He re-wrote his book in English (his first language is Japanese). With a more limited vocabulary, he wrote shorter, simpler sentences. He thrived on the challenge and found himself falling into a steady rhythm with his writing. “It was tremendously exciting,” he writes, “When I sat down at the kitchen table each night and went back to work on my novel…I felt like I was holding a new, cutting-edge tool in my hands.”
The EQ takeaway here is that you can use curiosity to stay productive through emotional low points. Instead of declaring that first draft his best effort and giving up, Murakami got curious. He aimed to understand why he found his draft boring. This then enabled him to devise a whole system to snap his boredom. A system that would make him more interested in his work, and make his writing more interesting to his readers. His curious mindset buoyed him up past boredom, frustration, self-doubt, and any other negative emotions that tried to anchor him down.
In the same way, you might use curiosity to devise a game that makes a boring task interesting (i.e., how fast can I do this, or how accurately can I do it?). Or, you might use curiosity like Murakami did, to forge ahead into uncharted territory without obsessing over the outcome. Instead of getting frustrated with his boring first draft, Murakami said, “what if I try __ to make my novel interesting?”.
Curiosity Makes You More Resilient: A Lesson From Author Elizabeth Gilbert
A catastrophe is nothing but a puzzle with the volume of drama turned up very high. —Elizabeth Gilbert
Elizabeth Gilbert is an author and journalist best known for her memoir Eat, Pray, Love, which has sold over 12 million copies. She also wrote a lesser-known gem of an essay, “In Praise of Stubborn Gladness.” In it, she writes about curiosity as a strategy to persevere through catastrophe.
She gives two examples:
- When visiting her 85-year-old Aunt Lolly, her aunt approached her with a big grin and said, “Guess what Liz? I have cancer. Isn’t that interesting?”
- As Steve Jobs passed away, his last words were, “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”
But, Gilbert also points out that curiosity can help you persevere in less catastrophic circumstances. For instance, she uses curiosity as a strategy to persist in her work as a writer. “Writing can be a very dramatic pursuit, full of catastrophes and disasters and emotion and attempts that fail,” she writes. “My path as a writer became much more smooth when I learned, when things aren’t going well to regard my struggles as curious, not tragic.”
It would be easy to call Gilbert’s use of curiosity overly optimistic. Her examples seem a bit like saying, “just be happy.” But there’s good research to show that curiosity runs deeper than that. One study found that just by describing a day when you felt curious, you can boost your mental and physical energy by 20% more than when you describe a moment of profound happiness. Other studies show that channeling curiosity can make you less defensive in moments of stress.
It’s a simple reframe: From “stressful” to “curious.” But it works. What was just overwhelming suddenly becomes a puzzle that you can pick at and piece together.
One EQ Strategy To Practice: The Curiosity Reframe
Next time you find yourself facing a challenge that leaves you feeling frustrated, anxious, or fearful, try adopting a mindset of curiosity. Try to rephrase your challenge through a lens of curiosity. Is there something about your situation that you find interesting? How might you approach this challenge in a new way?
Kevin Kruse is the Founder + CEO of LEADx, a leadership development company that specializes in emotional intelligence training. Kevin is also a New York Times bestselling author of Great Leaders Have No Rules, 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management, and Employee Engagement 2.0.