MIKE DANFORTH, HOST:
Hey. It’s Mike and Ian. So this is another one of our archived episodes because, as we said a couple weeks ago, all of our older episodes have been wiped from the internet, gone forever.
IAN CHILLAG, HOST:
We don’t know what we did, but we did something to deserve this.
DANFORTH: We really like this episode because it has a really important bit of information, a tip that could save your life if you’re dying of hiccups.
CHILLAG: True story. One time, Peter Sagal – we both also produce Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me. Peter Sagal had the hiccups on stage during a live taping in front of hundreds of people. He couldn’t get rid of them. I used the tip you’re about to hear to relieve him of his hiccups and save the show. I saved the show.
DANFORTH: Ian did this while the show was happening through Peter’s headphones while he was on stage. It was almost a miracle – almost.
CHILLAG: Also, we should say you’ll hear from Seth in this episode. Seth was our intern at the time. We loved Seth. Without further ado, here’s the show.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
CHILLAG: One question that a lot of you send in is, how do I stop the hiccups? If our email box is to be believed, there are thousands of you out there with the hiccups, unable to find a solution.
DANFORTH: On the line with us now is Mike (ph). He says he has a way to cure your hiccups.
MIKE: I just have no idea when my mom told me this, but she gave me a technique that she uses for getting rid of hiccups, which is to hold your breath and to close your eyes and picture a door with wind trying to blow it open and then a giant finger holding it shut. And for some reason, that’s always worked for me getting rid of hiccups. And also, like, sharing it with friends and just people – random people in my life that have had hiccups, it’s really worked with almost everybody.
DANFORTH: Wow. Do you remember the last time you told somebody about it?
MIKE: I was just chatting with my girlfriend about it, and she brought up our roommate, which is a good friend of hers. I guess she had hiccups for, like, 15 minutes a couple months ago, and I came home and did it with her, and they just went away right away. And she was drunk.
(LAUGHTER)
MIKE: So that just solidifies it (laughter) as the go-to thing.
CHILLAG: Well, can you describe a little bit more what the image looks like? Like, this hand – is it the size of a person? Is it in front of you, or…
MIKE: It’s like the size of – what I’m picturing is, like, a door and then a hand about the size of a door.
CHILLAG: (Laughter).
MIKE: So it’s a very large hand.
CHILLAG: Yeah.
MIKE: And it’s not connected to anything. It’s just, like, kind of a cartoon hand…
DANFORTH: Yeah.
MIKE: …Holding this door shut. It would have to be a big hand, right?
CHILLAG: Sure.
DANFORTH: Well, do you guys – in your home growing up, did you ever have a problem where you had doors that were being blown open by hard winds, stiff winds?
MIKE: I can’t – I don’t think, no. That hasn’t been a problem. I don’t know. I don’t know where that originated from. It seems like something in your body must – I mean, if you’re picturing that, then whatever has to open for a hiccup – I’ve just always thought you’d be holding that shut while you’re thinking of it or something. I don’t know.
CHILLAG: You know, as you sort of laid through what I should be imagining, I closed my eyes. And in my head, the hand was about the size of the door – same thing. And it was, you know, disembodied, but it was wearing a white glove.
MIKE: Oh. I don’t know if it works with a white glove.
DANFORTH: Yeah. I wasn’t picturing a white glove.
MIKE: Yeah, you’re going to have to take that white glove off.
CHILLAG: OK, good.
DANFORTH: Were you guys picturing a room that was floating in space, and then the door was also in space?
MIKE: I’m not even picturing – I guess I never thought about it enough to where there’d be a frame on the door. I’m just picturing a door for some reason.
DANFORTH: A door with a finger holding it.
MIKE: Yeah. I imagine it would definitely be in space, though, wherever this door is.
DANFORTH: Yeah, OK.
CHILLAG: So that’s kind of a beautiful, meditative image, this door and this hand.
DANFORTH: It’s very specific.
CHILLAG: And we here have the power of audio. We can bring this to life. So if, out there right now, you have the hiccups…
DANFORTH: …Or maybe you anticipate having them later, we’re going to help you.
CHILLAG: So here we go. Here’s a guided meditation. We’re going to bring in a special guest. This will stop your hiccups.
NICK OFFERMAN: Hello. I’m Nick Offerman. I’m sorry you have the hiccups, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
OFFERMAN: Close your eyes. Hold your breath. Now picture a door in front of you.
(SOUNDBITE OF WIND BLOWING)
OFFERMAN: A great wind outside is trying to blow it open.
(SOUNDBITE OF DOOR CREAKING)
OFFERMAN: But a giant, disembodied finger is holding it shut.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
OFFERMAN: Do you see it?
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
OFFERMAN: Wind, you’re no match for this giant disembodied hand. You should give up.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
OFFERMAN: Go away, wind, and this giant, disembodied hand will wave goodbye.
(SOUNDBITE OF DOOR CREAKING)
OFFERMAN: Maybe it’ll even give you a giant, disembodied high five for being such a good sport.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
OFFERMAN: There. Are your hiccups gone? You’re welcome. Now you just need to get rid of this giant, disembodied hand following you around.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
CHILLAG: Nick Offerman’s latest book is “Where The Deer And The Antelope Play.”
DANFORTH: This is HOW TO DO EVERYTHING. I’m Mike.
CHILLAG: And I’m Ian. On today’s show, how to look cool carrying a Trapper Keeper and how to avoid the most painful bee sting.
DANFORTH: But first…
CHILLAG: Your radio probably has an on-off switch, probably a dial.
DANFORTH: It’s a one-way device. You can’t comment on something if you like it or dislike it. But it almost wasn’t that way. Matt Novak is here with us now. He runs the Paleofuture blog.
CHILLAG: So Matt recently came across some information about a device called radiovota from the 1930s. It was invented by a man named Nevil Monroe Hopkins.
DANFORTH: So Matt, what can you tell us?
MATT NOVAK: Well, it just seemed so strange to me that this guy was so ahead of his time in the sense that, you know, we like to think that this like button – the whole concept is rather new. But, you know, this Dr. Hopkins had this idea that you’d be able to push a button and, more or less, have an instantaneous interaction with someone who’s delivering a broadcast medium.
CHILLAG: So basically, so I understand the technology right, this is a box that you would attach to your radio, and it’s controlling electricity down a line. And at the other end of the line, someone can tell whether you’ve hit – what is it? – yes, no and present. Is that right?
NOVAK: Yeah. You could tell, apparently, that a button was being pushed.
CHILLAG: So radio, though, was kind of everything. So what was the range of things people could, in theory, comment on?
NOVAK: You know, I think that people were talking about the possibility of not liking jazz. I think that was – that popped up in one of one of the articles, obviously jazz being still relatively new by the mid-1930s. There was, I think, a lot of snark in the newspapers about, yeah, you’d be able to press a no button to that jazz music. But, yeah, politics was obviously a much more direct and obvious application for this box that Dr. Monroe had developed.
DANFORTH: So this would be a great way to kind of weigh in on a fireside chat, say.
NOVAK: Oh, for sure, yeah.
DANFORTH: Just put present.
NOVAK: Right, right. That’s your sort of none-of-the-above vote, I guess.
DANFORTH: Yeah.
CHILLAG: But, you know, also, there’s, like – it is kind of an example of a lot of things that annoy people today. Like, it’s kind of a version of Wolf Blitzer on CNN reading tweets from viewers. And it’s kind of…
NOVAK: Right, right.
CHILLAG: …A version of the like button. As somebody who sort of looks back through history, do you find it comforting that we’ve kind of always been as annoying as we are today?
NOVAK: (Laughter) If there’s anything I’ve learned through studying past visions of the future, it is that there really is nothing new. You know, it is fascinating to me how we sort of evolve and have these ideas, and there’s almost always something that relates to it that someone was trying to do a hundred years earlier that was just far too ahead of its time. But, yeah, I do find it oddly comforting to know that everything has always been the worst. It’s not just today.
CHILLAG: Well, Matt, thanks so much.
NOVAK: Thanks for having me, guys.
DANFORTH: Well, let’s try this out. Let’s try and make our own radiovota.
CHILLAG: We should get Seth, hook him up with a fake radiovota and just let him comment on the rest of the show.
DANFORTH: Seth, are you cool with that?
SETH KELLEY, BYLINE: Yeah, that sounds good – ready to go.
CHILLAG: Hey, Julia (ph). What can we help you with?
JULIA: So our principal made a new rule at school that we can’t have backpacks, so we all have to use Trapper Keepers or carry around a stack of books. And I’m having trouble finding a good position to carry my Trapper Keeper so that I look cool.
DANFORTH: You have this Trapper Keeper. What’s that look like?
JULIA: It’s lime green, and it has a lot of signatures like, so and so was here, and, I love Julia.
CHILLAG: Did it come that way?
JULIA: No. I mean, people wrote on it.
CHILLAG: Right.
DANFORTH: Well, OK. So in my experience, a Trapper Keeper is something you just kind of sling under your arm. It’s pretty easy to carry. But is that what you’re doing, and it just doesn’t look cool?
JULIA: No, it doesn’t look cool.
DANFORTH: Yeah.
JULIA: And sometimes I carry it, like, in front of me, like, with your arms crossed around it, but that makes you look kind of weak – weak body language, I think.
CHILLAG: Oh.
DANFORTH: Yeah.
CHILLAG: OK, yeah.
DANFORTH: Well, maybe – have you seen anyone who can pull it off? Is there anyone in school who is – manages to not look like a dork?
JULIA: No, I haven’t seen anyone.
DANFORTH: Wow.
CHILLAG: Is there, in your class, in your school, a kind of icon of cool? And if so, could you kind of describe what they – you know, how they carry themselves?
JULIA: Well, actually, I’m sitting in my band teacher’s room, and pretty much the coolest guy in our grade just walked in.
CHILLAG: Oh, really?
JULIA: His name is Zach (ph).
CHILLAG: Zach.
DANFORTH: Wow.
JULIA: And he just, like, kind of – he’s super-cool. He always wears hoodies.
DANFORTH: OK.
CHILLAG: Can he hear you talking about him right now?
JULIA: No, he just left.
CHILLAG: OK.
JULIA: He has a trombone lesson.
DANFORTH: Well, he’s the coolest guy, and he plays the trombone.
JULIA: Yeah.
CHILLAG: OK, so what does he – what’s he do when he has to carry his books and stuff?
JULIA: The thing is, like, I don’t notice ’cause you only notice when they look dorky, what they’re doing with their books.
CHILLAG: OK.
DANFORTH: Wait. So does he still – is he close enough by where you could run out and look at him and see what he’s doing?
JULIA: One second. He’s probably playing the trombone, but I’ll check.
DANFORTH: OK.
JULIA: OK. So he’s watching, like, a band performance on the computer, and he’s kind of, like, standing there with his hand in his pocket. And he’s, like, a little slouched but backward, not forward. And he’s, like, looking at it like, yeah, that’s cool. And I totally get it. And I could be that cool.
CHILLAG: Yeah. I’m picturing it. It does – the lean back definitely looks cool.
JULIA: Yeah.
DANFORTH: Would it be possible for you to go up to him and hand him a Trapper Keeper and see what he does with it?
JULIA: I don’t know. I don’t see one around here.
DANFORTH: Any books, any notebooks?
JULIA: I don’t know. I don’t want to interrupt his lesson.
DANFORTH: Yeah. I know what you mean, but the way I see it, he’s going to have plenty of time to play the trombone. And you want to make sure you look cool.
JULIA: OK. I’ll see what I can do.
DANFORTH: All right. We’re going to hold here.
JULIA: OK.
CHILLAG: I’m nervous right now.
DANFORTH: I’m wondering. Do you think we’re going to get her in detention?
CHILLAG: They’re not going to…
DANFORTH: Risk-reward here is high on the reward side.
CHILLAG: And honestly, getting suspended a couple days probably is going to increase your image, your coolness. We’re only helping. It’s just a matter of how much.
JULIA: Hello?
DANFORTH: Hello.
JULIA: OK. So I think him and the teacher both think I’m crazy now. But what he did was he just, like, put it under his arm and kind of walked. So I think that’s probably the way to do it.
CHILLAG: Did it look cool?
JULIA: It did look cool.
DANFORTH: Really?
JULIA: Well, he carried it in a way where you, like, don’t notice he’s carrying it.
CHILLAG: Ah. Was he still leaning back?
JULIA: Yeah, little bit.
CHILLAG: All right.
DANFORTH: Well, I mean, do you want to try that?
JULIA: I guess. OK. This feels pretty good. Let’s give it the lean-back. I think that’s an important component.
CHILLAG: Yeah, all right.
JULIA: Well, thanks, guys. I think I’ve found a good position.
DANFORTH: Great. Thanks, Julia. Have a good day.
JULIA: All right. Thank you so much.
CHILLAG: Bye-bye.
JULIA: Bye.
CHILLAG: I definitely give Julia a yes because I really like how she described the coolest kid in school, Zach, which is really great. And I also like that she got her question answered right on the spot. I didn’t like the peer pressure. That definitely made me a little bit uncomfortable, but I love that Julia pulled through. She followed through and ended up getting a good answer to her question.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
DANFORTH: You know what nobody likes? Getting stung by a bee. And what’s the worst possible place to get stung?
CHILLAG: We are about to talk about this, and we should say we’re going to talk about, you know, specific parts of the body. So if that bothers you, maybe do something else for a few minutes.
DANFORTH: Michael Smith studies bees at Cornell University, and he tried to find the answer to that question.
CHILLAG: So Michael, you actually used yourself as a subject. Can you tell us how you did this research?
MICHAEL SMITH: So let’s see. There were 25 body locations, and I stung each body location three times. I can tell you which was the worst area of the 25 that I stung, though.
DANFORTH: OK.
CHILLAG: Please do.
SMITH: So that would be the nostril.
DANFORTH: Inside?
SMITH: Inside.
DANFORTH: Oh.
SMITH: So if you were to look at – if you were to touch your own nose – you know, not on the outside of your nose, but if you were to – like, the skin in between your two nostrils…
DANFORTH: Yeah.
SMITH: …As if you were a bull and you’d be pierced there…
CHILLAG: Oh.
SMITH: …Put a honeybee instead.
DANFORTH: And you did that three times to yourself.
SMITH: Yes.
CHILLAG: So maybe this is a personal question, but did a bee sting your sensitive man region?
SMITH: Yes, it did – actually, two locations within the sensitive man regions.
CHILLAG: (Laughter).
DANFORTH: Really?
SMITH: Yes, the scrotum and the penis shaft.
CHILLAG: Ah.
DANFORTH: Wow.
(SOUNDBITE OF BUZZER)
KELLEY: No.
DANFORTH: And, I mean, you’re clearly a scientist who cared very much about getting everything right. But this had to have been a hard day, realizing that this was what was going to happen.
SMITH: You know, I think it’s just – as strange as it sounds, it’s just like, OK, you know, this is my life. This is what I’m doing. Yeah.
CHILLAG: Wow.
DANFORTH: I have to ask you, Michael. So you’re stinging yourself every day multiple times. What was your reaction when you’re doing that? When you’re standing there and a bee stings you – if a bee stings me, I’d probably shriek or something. What were your reactions?
SMITH: I mean, I guess, again, that would depend on the location. You know, for some of them, it was just, OK, that was painful. Was it more painful or less painful than the sting I just received on my forearm? However, in the case of the nostril, that’s a whole-body experience.
DANFORTH: Yeah.
SMITH: When you get a sting to the nostril, it’s pretty violent. Your nose just starts flowing mucus out. Your tears in your eyes are just welling up. You’re sneezing. You’re coughing. It’s really – it’s a whole-body experience. And remember; at that point, I’ve just received the sting. I have to leave the stinger in there for a full minute.
CHILLAG: Yeah.
SMITH: So at that point, your body just wants to get the stinger out. And, I mean, if you think of, you know, the way honeybees – we know that they zero in to locations that have high contrast. For example, if you’re wearing – if you’re doing beekeeping, you’re wearing a watch with a black band, they will target the line between your skin and the dark band. We also know that they react very strongly to CO2. So they really are – they are – evolution has done a great job for them to really target the most sensitive spots on your body.
CHILLAG: You know, I see – all the time, I see ads for studies that are done by – at universities where they need volunteers or they even offer compensation for people to be a subject in a study. This seems like one where you could have got somebody else to take the stings. Why did you want to do it?
SMITH: I’m the best person to really rate my own pain.
CHILLAG: Yeah.
SMITH: So in that way, you know, it really had to be me. In addition, if I’m looking for a subject that their immune system isn’t going to change over the course of the 38 days that I was stung, I need someone who works with bees as well. So I’m not just looking for any old student. I’m looking for a student who’s also a beekeeper who’s received stings over the last couple of months and who’s willing to do this, and then I would have to pay them.
DANFORTH: So Michael, if you’re out in nature and a bee comes up to you and you’re trying to – you know, it’s clearly agitated, what part of your body, then, are you going to offer to it to keep it from stinging you inside your nose?
SMITH: In the pain rating that I have, the skull, the middle toe tip and the upper arm – all three received the same pain rating, which was a 2.3.
DANFORTH: So the toe tip – in that case, it’s like you want to direct them. If they’re going to sting you, get them to the toe.
SMITH: Yes, although actually, you know, personal preference, I would probably go for the skull or upper arm…
DANFORTH: Oh.
SMITH: …Just ’cause I think then you’d have to take off your shoes, and that would be ridiculous.
DANFORTH: Well, thank you. This has been so disturbing and fascinating.
SMITH: I hope so.
(SOUNDBITE OF BUZZER)
KELLEY: No. I could actually sort of, like, feel what he was talking about, and it was kind of horrible, and I hated it.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
CHILLAG: That does it for this week’s show. What have we learned today, Mike?
DANFORTH: Well, I learned that the most painful place to get a bee sting is inside your nose.
CHILLAG: Yeah. When you think about it, Honey Nut Cheerios kind of look like little nostrils. Bee’s always hanging around. Hey. Maybe he’s not the benevolent little insect that we thought he was. He’s just looking for a nostril to sting.
DANFORTH: I got a Cheerio stuck up my nose once.
CHILLAG: I mean, of the things you can get stuck up your nose, it’s probably the best. It’s got the breathing hole right in it.
DANFORTH: That’s not what the doctor said. You know, talking to Julia, I wonder if, in every high school, the coolest kid is named Zach.
CHILLAG: I think that’s true.
DANFORTH: I mean, think about it. “Saved By The Bell” – coolest guy was Zach.
CHILLAG: I think Slater might disagree with you. I think there are those that think Slater was cooler, but I see your point. I do think if you’re a parent and your dream for your child is that they grow up and be cool, name him Zach.
DANFORTH: “High School Musical,” Zac Efron.
CHILLAG: Didn’t see that.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
CHILLAG: HOW TO DO EVERYTHING is produced by Stephen Tobias (ph) with technical direction from Lorna White.
DANFORTH: Our intern this week is Seth Kelley. I bet you like this part, huh, Seth?
(SOUNDBITE OF BUZZER)
KELLEY: No. It was kind of horrible, and I hated it.
CHILLAG: Give us your questions at howto@npr.org.
DANFORTH: And it looks like we have a voicemail here.
JULIA: Hey, guys. It’s Julia calling back about my Trapper Keeper situation. So I held them under my arms, and I felt pretty confident and pretty cool. I think I’m going keep going with it. So I was kind of hoping you would call in somebody famous, but you two did a pretty good job helping me, so thanks a lot. Have a good day.
CHILLAG: We can’t let Julia down.
DANFORTH: You know what? Let’s call up Slater. Let’s call up A.C. Slater.
CHILLAG: He’s a famous person.
DANFORTH: Mario Lopez played Slater on “Saved By The Bell.” So Mario, any advice for Julia?
MARIO LOPEZ: First of all, Julia, I think what I would suggest is using your locker and going one period at a time to get your books ’cause you can be cool with one book – can’t be cool with more than one book. So just make a little trip to your locker, and you get a little exercise in while you’re there, and you’ll look much cooler.
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