Anyone who’s held down a job or three knows those employed as managers are often not ideally suited to the role. But your relationship with your boss has a massive impact on your work satisfaction, so how do “manage up” successfully? Career coach and author Jess Stuart outlines five different types of boss, and how to get the best out of them.
My first job in HR was working for Sofia, we shared an office in an old run-down building on the outskirts of the CBD. We were working for a company selling photocopiers but she treated it like we were saving lives. Sofia was always busy and the last to leave the office. She would give me a task, then check in five times before noon to make sure I was doing it her way. She never fully trusted anyone and often redid our work instead of accepting a different approach to her own, or she failed to delegate in the first place. It was exhausting, and I started dreading her emails.
One day, instead of waiting for her check-ins, I decided to send her a detailed progress update each morning.This overcommunication seemed to help her back off and trust me more.
A bad boss equals a bad job
According to NZ Census data from 2023, the quality of the relationship with your manager has a big impact on overall job satisfaction. Of those who had a bad relationship with their manager, 42% were dissatisfied with their job. By comparison, only 2.8% of those who had a good relationship with their manager were dissatisfied.
Unfortunately, inexerienced and ineffective managers are all too common. In a Careerbuilder.com study 58% of managers said they hadn’t received management training before they took the role. Most get promoted for being technically good at their jobs – the one they probably trained years to do. Then comes a promotion and they inherit a team, but when it comes to leading people, so few are adequately trained for the unique challenges that brings. That’s how we get bad bosses. But they’re not all bad in the same ways. Below is a description of five types of lousy manager with suggested ways for you to “manage up” or work effectively with yours.
Career coach and author Jess Stuart shares strategies to understand your manager’s leadership style and improve your work life. (Source: Breakfast)
1. The overworker
Sofia, who I described above, was an over worker – they’re often perfectionists who seem driven by the need to prove something beyond the requirements of the job. The problem is they may also place these unrealistic expectations on their team. This type of manager will frequently micro-manage, involving themselves in tasks outside their remit, and they are definitely not role models when it comes to work/life balance.
How to deal with the overworker:
This type of boss loves an update, the more regular the better. Get into the habit of letting them know what you’re doing and how.
Also, although this boss hates to delegate, they could no doubt do with shedding some duties. So offer to take ownership of tasks and demonstrate your reliability. Eventually they’ll be happy to be relieved of some of their load.
Set clear boundaries to avoid being overworked. Just because your boss’s work/life balance is out of whack, doesn’t mean yours must be. If you’ve worked an unreasonable number of hours, request (and expect) time in lieu. Turn off your phone after hours and on weekends.
2. The coaster and credit-taker
The opposite of Sofia was Tim – a classic coaster.
Tim was never busy, was always up for a laugh and left the office at 3pm to play golf. He often “forgot” to do his share of projects, but somehow managed to take credit when things went well. The worst part? Senior management thought he was great because the team was delivering. Meanwhile, his team was stressed and drowning in work.
When his lead developer Hannah came into my office to explain her resentment, my advice was to make her own contributions visible – for example to CC key stakeholders in emails, making it clear who was doing what. Eventually, a senior director noticed this. Hannah came back one day to tell me they’d approached her directly to lead a project –bypassing Tim altogether.
How to deal with the coaster:
Put your name on your efforts, document your workload, CC other staff members in emails and make sure it’s clear who’s doing the work in your team.
Politely but firmly set boundaries with your boss over how much of their workload you’re prepared to take on.
3. My mate the boss
When I was on my OE I worked for Janet, in a small team running a local government department. She’s still a friend today, she was so nice. That was the problem at work though, she was too nice. Janet was great to hang out with – we grabbed drinks on Fridays and had a lot of laughs. But at work, she was a pushover. There were two team members who regularly slacked off, missing deadlines, and she never called them out. That meant I had to pick up their workload.
How to deal with an overly matey boss:
Don’t share too much information about your personal life with this boss and subtly make it clear you don’t need to know every intimate detail about theirs. (This doesn’t mean you can’t develop a friendship but, while they’re your boss, keep some boundaries in place.)
Keep work drinks and social events professional – drinks are fine, benders not so much.
If problems arise, address them directly and professionally – don’t pussyfoot around them the way you might with a friend.
4. Long-time leader
This is a common type of boss, the one who’s just been in the job too long. They think experience is everything and if there was a badge that could state the years they’d been in the company, they’d be wearing it. They’ve seen everything and been everywhere and as a result they’re a bit bored now but still attached to the status their role brings.
John had been in the company for 25 years, and he loved reminding us of this. Every time I suggested a new approach, he’d shoot it down with, “We’ve always done it this way”. It was frustrating because his old-school methods were slowing us down. He’d also lost his passion for the role, he was waiting to retire and as a result tended to have a negative view on everything which stole the joy from my workday too many times.
How to deal with the long-time boss:
Show respect for their experience. This kind of boss is more likely to accept a new idea if it’s presented in a respectful way that acknowledges their input. Find common ground to align your approach with their values.
Use data and logic to justify changes and new ideas. Your boss is less likely to shoot down facts than hunches.
5. The bully boss
Our last boss type is the most dangerous and sadly still far too common in the workplace. This manager views you as a threat. Often they’ve been over-promoted or they just love the power and control that status brings and let their ego drive their leadership. Their behaviour could relate to lack of training, an innate lack of empathy or a lack of confidence – sometimes all three – and whatever the cause they make it your problem.
The manifestations of this attitude can take many forms, such as talking over you in meetings, dismissing your ideas, taking credit for your work, diminishing your contribution, constantly changing the goal posts so you can’t win, using aggression and force or just eroding your confidence day by day.
The bully boss is by far the hardest boss to work with.
How to deal with a bully boss:
Always stay calm and professional in your interactions with them (even if they don’t). Set firm boundaries regarding how you’re prepared to be spoken to.
Document any inappropriate incidents and escalate to the next level of management if necessary.
Don’t suffer in silence. Seek support if needed from your HR department or another manager.
Some general tips for every kind of boss
Clear up the fog: One of the biggest sources of workplace misery is poor communication – workers unsure of what’s expected of them leading to frustrated, dissatisfied managers.
If something is unclear, ask for clarification from your manager, repeat back to them what you think they want you to do and ask questions to check for understanding. Not all bosses are good at articulating what it is they expect of you.
Don’t let resentment build: Clear up any miscommunication and make sure you air any niggles or issues before they become big.
Don’t be a hothead: If you’re frustrated, always wait until you’ve calmed down before having the conversation (or sending the email).
Clearly, these tips work if you’ve got a boss who’s reasonable. We’re not always that lucky. If you’re being bullied the best option is to change that and seek help and support immediately. Otherwise we can find ourselves in situations that don’t ust impact our careers but affect our confidence and ultimately our health.
With a background in HR, Jess Stuart is now a Waiheke-based career coach and the author of several books including: Burnout to Brilliance and I Love Mondays.