How to navigate harsh aged care reality facing millions of Aussies: ‘Nothing prepares you’
Kerry Kingham (middle) with her mum faced an overwhelming challenge all of a sudden. (Source: Supplied)
They call it the sandwich generation for a reason. You’re right in the middle of it, kids on one side, ageing parents on the other, and you probably didn’t plan for it.
Then all it takes is one phone call to throw everything into motion. A parent has fallen, or there’s been a diagnosis, and the hospital discharge team needs urgent decisions about what happens next.
That was me last year. One minute I was working in a leadership role I love, juggling the usual blend of deadlines and family logistics. Next, I was navigating the transition care system for my mum after a significant fall. I was overwhelmed, emotional and under pressure to make fast financial choices with lifelong implications.
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As someone experienced in the health and care space, I know how these systems function, who they serve, and how often families are left to fend for themselves with little clarity. But nothing quite prepares you for the reality of doing it for someone you love.
What shocked me most wasn’t just the complexity – it was the hidden cost, and lack of transparency.
When Mum was discharged from rehab and ready to go home, we were handed a list of equipment recommended by the occupational therapist; walker, shower chair, bed rail, and a few other essentials. These were important for her safety, but the assumption was that we’d buy everything immediately from the preferred supplier, without question.
I paused. Not to delay her care, but because I knew from experience that the same item can cost significantly more depending on where you get it, who recommends it, and how much pressure you’re under to act quickly. Some providers are tied to specific suppliers, while others simply don’t volunteer that you have a choice. When you’re tired, anxious and in the thick of it — which is inevitable during a care transition — it’s hard to stop and compare prices.
But I did. I found comparable items at reputable suppliers and saved over $1,000. I also avoided a $150 setup fee on a walker that didn’t need setting up. Since aged care funding is capped, those savings stayed in Mum’s care budget where they belonged.
This isn’t unusual. Most families I speak to have overspent without realising it — not because they were careless, but because the system makes it too easy to say yes to the first option presented.
The result? Budgets drain fast, and the financial pressure hits later, often when there’s no room left to adjust.
There are some key questions I found the most useful when navigating this transition. (Source: Supplied)
If you’re facing this now (or suspect you might be soon), here’s what helped me take back control — both financially and emotionally.
Take a breath before buying: Even if it feels urgent, most items can be delivered within 24 to 48 hours. Ask whether your parent can go home safely with temporary support while you sort through the next steps. You don’t need to buy everything at once.
Get it in writing: Ask the OT or allied health professional for written recommendations. Get them to explain what each item is for, what features matter, and whether cheaper or refurbished versions are suitable. This helps you make smart decisions and avoid pressure sales.
Compare suppliers: Search for the same or equivalent models at two or three reputable retailers. Look for bundled “deals” — sometimes they can save you money over purchasing separately.
Question setup and delivery charges: Some fees are necessary, others are not. Ask what you’re paying for. A lot of equipment comes pre-assembled or is easy to install with basic guidance.
Start small, add later: Begin with the basics — the things that help your parent move around safely and confidently. You can always buy additional items once they’re home and settled, and they are truly needed.
Ask about refurbished gear: Especially for short-term needs, refurbished equipment can be safe, functional and much more affordable.
Keep receipts: Hold onto all invoices and notes. These help with package claims, tax time, and future comparisons.
Understand what’s claimable: If your parent has a Home Care Package or CHSP support, ask the provider to confirm what can be claimed, and whether you’re locked into certain suppliers. Often, you’re not.
You can respect a clinician’s expertise without handing over every decision. These are the questions that I found most useful:
What safety concern does this item address?
Are there other models that meet your recommendation?
Is this something Mum needs right now, or can we trial it at home first?
Is it short-term or long-term?
Can you give me the features that matter, not just the brand?
Is any of this not covered under the Home Care Package?
Can I have this in writing?
None of these are adversarial. They’re clarifying. They help you advocate – not obstruct.
Perhaps the most important lesson I learned was how to support without overriding. Our parents are still decision-makers. Our role is to make things simpler and clearer, especially when they’re tired, sore, or scared.
That means showing them options, breaking down the jargon, and being their backup — not their boss.
That includes protecting their dignity as well as their money. We can honour both.
For fellow sandwich generation readers
We don’t talk enough about the financial squeeze many of us are in. Between supporting kids who still need us and parents who suddenly rely on us, we often forget to plan for our own needs – let alone our own retirement – but you need to check in on your own energy and wellbeing too.
So, here’s what I recommend: don’t wait for the crisis. Talk early. Learn the basics of My Aged Care. Ask your parents if they’ve nominated an enduring Power of Attorney. Understand the difference between CHSP and Home Care Packages before you need to know it urgently.
These conversations are hard, but will help you handle the pressure, and make decisions without panicking when someone is in hospital.
The biggest costs often come from the smallest assumptions. We assume there’s no time. We assume we don’t have options. We assume someone else will tell us what to do. But the families who pause, ask, compare and plan are the ones who save money and sleep better.
Supporting my mum through transition care changed how I see aged care, money and the pressure so many families quietly carry. You can’t always control when this role arrives, but you can decide how you’ll step into it. And that can make all the difference.
Kerry is the CEO and Managing Director of Chooze, a leading e-commerce service for the disability and aged care sector.
