How to raise resilient kids during stressful times

Many Americans have ample reason to feel stressed right now, from the tight job market to divisive politics and the general nature of the daily news.

If you’re a parent, you may need to work a little harder than everyone else to manage that stress healthily, so you can avoid letting it accidentally affect your children, says developmental psychologist Aliza Pressman. That’s especially true if you need to talk with your kids about a stressful piece of current events, so they can hear about it from you in an intentional way instead of picking it up elsewhere, she says.

“You’re not going to be able to parent effectively — or have a close, connected relationship — if your system is in fight or flight [mode]. It just doesn’t work,” says Pressman, co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center and host of the “Raising Good Humans” podcast. “So it really serves every parent who’s not actually in danger to remind themselves they’re not in danger … then, when you go into the room to talk to a child, they’re not going to have that sense of panic.”

Roughly three-quarters of U.S. adults are more stressed about the country’s future than they used to be, according to a survey conducted on behalf of the American Psychological Association in August 2025. Parents can pass their own anxiety to their kids through a process called emotional contagion, research shows.

“Over time, if you’re [experiencing] a very dysregulated nervous system, then your child is going to catch on to it, and it becomes chronic when it happens all of the time,” says Pressman.

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Chronic stress or anxiety can hinder a child’s ability to learn how to bounce back from failure and take the sort of necessary, calculated risks that can help them become successful, fulfilled adults, psychologists note. Many children feel stressed about world events too, from school shootings to climate change, and parents’ ability to talk through those difficult subjects when they arise can help their kids learn to manage their feelings appropriately, mental health experts say.

Pressman recommends a few steps to help you manage your anxiety and talk to your kids about what’s happening in ways that can help them become more compassionate and resilient. Always consult your own mental health professional directly if you’re experiencing symptoms of clinical anxiety or depression.

Manage your own stress, then listen first

Parents shouldn’t feel the need to force a discussion of scary events their kids might have been unaware of otherwise. However, children often pick up on more than adults may realize, even if they don’t watch the news, Pressman notes. They can hear snippets of information at school or from older siblings, and what they hear might sound scary or confusing, especially if the information they get isn’t complete or accurate.

Before you can sit down and have a calm discussion with your kids about stressful news and events in the world, Pressman advises pausing to “check yourself and take a breath and figure out your feelings.” She recommends implementing some daily stress-relief habits — taking a walk, spending time with friends or family, meditating or whatever else works for you.

Alleviating your anxiety isn’t the same as ignoring real issues and crises, notes Pressman. Troubling headlines can still deserve your attention, but it’s healthy to separate where you can actually be of help from when you’re stuck in a relatively purposeless cycle of anxiety and outrage, she says.

Then, start your conversation with your kids by listening: Ask what they’ve heard about any disconcerting recent events or, if they seem generally more worried than usual, if something is troubling them, Pressman advises.

“Start with making sure that you ask them what they’ve heard, figuring out what they know, versus telling them,” she says, adding: “You can correct misinformation, and you can acknowledge that it sounds scary.”

Offer some hope

Shape the subsequent discussion around your child’s age and maturity level, Pressman says: You don’t need to lie, and you don’t need to over-share details that a child might not be ready to hear.

For younger kids, you might want to keep the message simple and reassuring, she says. Tweens and teens might be ready to handle more complexities and harsh realities. Older kids may have already formed opinions, and you should hear them out without being dismissive, says Pressman.

Some kids may have a ton of questions and concerns. Others might just go about their day and seem unbothered. Either way, avoid dwelling on the topic with them for hours at a time, Pressman says.

“If it’s interrupting their day-to-day functioning, that’s a flag…” she says. “Once they’ve told you something that they’re worried about, sitting with them and going over it for hours is not helpful to anyone. You want to keep conversations short, and then you can check back in [later].”

Finally, balance honesty with a dose of realistic hope. Telling kids that they have nothing to worry about is rarely honest, says Pressman. Instead, you can usually say that you understand why they’re worried and that you’re concerned too, but also hopeful, she says. You can offer ideas for ways to take age-appropriate action, like volunteering or writing a letter to an elected representative.

“As we’re thinking about raising our kids, we really want them to get motivated by the good people in the world,” Pressman says. “If you shift that [anxiety] to something where you can actually affect change, instead of just feeling terrible, everybody wins.”