This body language move makes you look ‘closed off’—how to do it right: Stanford communication expert
If you’ve ever read a negotiation book or taken a communication workshop, you’ve likely heard of “mirroring”: subtly copying another person’s body language to build rapport. They lean in, you lean in. They smile, you smile. The idea is intuitive. We like people who are similar to us, and physical synchrony signals connection and shared understanding. […]
How to tell if you have AQ, the new ‘non-negotiable’ skill highly successful people have
More than 100 years ago IQ, or intelligence quotient, established what it means to be intelligent. Then came along EQ, which broadened the meaning with emotional intelligence. Both were helpful frameworks for the time and context which they emerged, but now our world in-flux demands something new: AQ (Agility Quotient), which I define as the […]
5 signs you’re overparenting—and how to raise resilient kids
It’s a familiar scene: Your kid is stuck on a problem or upset about a situation. Before they’ve even finished explaining, you swoop in with solutions. That’s what good parents do, right? But when rescuing becomes routine, it undermines the skills kids need to build confidence and resilience. As a clinical psychologist who works with […]
These ‘powerful behaviors’ make a big difference
Certain people seem so effortlessly influential, they make you wonder if they were born with some magical quality. But after researching human behavior for 15 years, I have good news. Influence is a set of learnable actions, not a fixed personality trait. In my book, “Managing Up: How to Get What You Need From the […]
Stop asking ‘How was school today?’ To raise successful kids, ask 7 questions instead
“My child won’t tell me anything about their day!” It’s a common concern I hear from parents in my psychotherapy office. They’re hoping to gain a glimpse into their child’s world. But asking “How was school today?” usually leads to a one-word answer. As a therapist and the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents […]
How to say ‘no’—and get them to listen
Saying “no” is essential in parenting. But setting limits shouldn’t start and end with that one word. As a certified child life specialist and licensed therapist, I know that saying “no” is meant to help kids feel safe, supported, and understood. I often help kids understand: “Your parents aren’t saying ‘no’ to control you, they’re […]
How to handle bad chemistry in a job interview
You’ve prepped, practiced, and put on your best blazer. But within minutes of walking into your job interview, something feels off. The energy is flat, the conversation stilted, or the interviewer seems distracted. Bad chemistry happens. The good news is that while you can’t control the interviewer’s mood, you can control how you show up. […]
It’ll give you ‘a competitive edge’
Melody Wilding has met a lot of frustrated employees. Whether they can’t figure out what their boss wants, feel overlooked for plum projects and promotions, or are overwhelmed by office politics, she writes in her book, “their problems often boil down to one thing: They don’t know how to manage up.” That phrase might conjure […]
Don’t ask ‘How are you?’ How successful people get others to like them: Psychology expert
The worst thing you can ask at the start of any interaction is: “How are you?” You’re essentially telling the other person that the interaction will be like every other interaction. They’ll most likely respond, “My day’s been busy. Good but busy.” It’s boring and generates a social script. I’ve spent the last 17 years […]
How I get my kids to listen—in 5 seconds or less
Recently, I was talking to my two middle-school sons about the importance of listening the first time they’re asked to do something, especially when it really matters. But before I got far, my oldest interrupted, rolling his eyes: “Bruh, it’s not that deep.” “FYI, I’m not your bruh,” I replied. The exchange reminded me of […]