The No. 1 communication mistake couples make—and how to avoid it
Marriage psychologists, divorce lawyers, and therapists all say that struggling romantic relationships have one thing in common: bad communication. On a recent episode of the podcast “Ten Percent Happier,” host Dan Harris interviewed Charles Duhigg, a journalist and author of the new book “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection” about why people […]
‘Co-regulation’ is the new parenting buzzword: How to do it
The increasing popularity of “gentle parenting” has launched a new buzzword into the child-rearing landscape: co-regulation. Co-regulation refers to an adult helping a child soothe their own emotions during a stressful incident. Let’s say a child has a meltdown at the supermarket. Instead of admonishing them, gentle parenting, also known as responsive parenting, calls for […]
Maryam Banikarim: Life’s an obstacle course — here’s how to navigate it
“Instead of seeing life’s challenges as obstacles, I see them as an obstacle course — a fascinating array of tests that I’m curious to see if I can pass,” says community builder Maryam Banikarim. Telling the story of her experience emigrating from Iran as a child, Banikarim shares how her search for belonging led her […]
How to Get Over Someone: 10 Tips to Get Over Heartbreak
There’s nothing like a great connection with someone, but when a relationship ends it can be hurtful, leaving you endlessly searching “How to Get Over Someone.” Maybe even worse, if it never begins in the way that we want it to, getting over an unrequited love is just as hard. So what does one do […]
How to Recover When Socializing Has Totally Drained Your Battery
This article is part of SELF’s second annual Rest Week, an editorial package dedicated to doing less. If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally, is impossible without genuine downtime. With that in mind, we’ll be publishing articles up until the new year to help […]
How to get out of lunch with a co-worker
There are those co-workers who you just don’t want to be friends with. Sometimes, the feeling will be mutual. Other times it won’t be. In the latter case, uncomfortable situations can arise. For example, they might consistently ask you to lunch. No matter how many excuses you invent, they don’t seem to be deterred. There […]
how to deal with missing your children when you’re away from them
It was last Monday that it truly hit. The recognition that I was going to be seeing my children for half of their childhood since divorcing. My kitchen clock showed 3.15pm, their school pick-up time. A wash of sadness came over me as I thought about them bundling out of school without me to scoop […]
How To Build Conflict Skills—The Pinch/Crunch Model
Address a pinch before it becomes a crunch. getty We’ve all heard the clichés: Pick your battles. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Good advice, to a point, but for the conflict-averse, it is possible to be too selective about raising issues. Avoiding conflict can make matters worse—when […]
How to respond to a rude comment from your in-laws
There are many environments where it would benefit you to check any people-pleasing tendencies at the door: work, romantic relationships, even friendships. Holidays at your in-laws’ house is not one of them, says Sara Jane Ho, a Harvard-trained etiquette expert. Ho is the founder of the finishing school Institute Sarita, host of the Netflix show […]
How to make small talk if you are to succeed socially this Christmas
“Hello, lovely to meet you. So, how much do you weigh?” Don’t worry, you needn’t answer unless you wish to. But you’ll agree it’s a useful reminder of how not to make small talk if you want to succeed socially this Christmas. You might assume it’s intuitive to avoid highly personal questions when shooting the […]