Our writers’ perspectives on arguing and communicating in healthier ways
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In the 1887 essay “Silent People as Misjudged by the Noisy,” an Atlantic contributor proposed an economical approach to talking: “As we get on in life past the period of obstreperous youth, we incline to talk less and write less, especially on the topics which we have most at heart,” the writer noted. “We are beginning to realize the uselessness of perpetually talking … If there is a thing to be said, we prefer to wait and say it only when and where it will hit something or somebody.”
Many of us wish we were better at waiting to speak until we knew our words would “hit something or somebody” exactly how we want them to. But more often, we’re all just muddling through a daily mess of communication, arguing with loved ones in ways that don’t feel productive (or with strangers on the internet—I shudder to imagine what our 1887 contributor would think of social media). Today’s newsletter explores how to disagree a bit better.
On Arguing
The Books That Taught a Debate Champion How to Argue
By Bo Seo
Through reading, I learned that disagreement can be a source of good, not ill, even in our polarized age.
Five Features of Better Arguments
By Conor Friedersdorf
A former Clinton-administration official studied how to facilitate more constructive arguments among Americans. These are his conclusions.
How to Have a Healthy Argument
By Hanna Rosin
Hint: It doesn’t involve the facts.
Still Curious?
Other Diversions
P.S.
In 2021, Arthur Brooks pointed out a perhaps unexpected upside to changing your mind upon hearing a good counterargument: It can make you less anxious.
— Isabel