How to talk to children about the Bondi stabbings


Experts are urging parents to reach out to their children to help them process the horrific scenes that unfolded at Bondi Junction at the weekend.

As with any breaking news story there has been rolling coverage of the stabbings, with upsetting details on social media, television news and online media outlets.

For parents, a key element of the tragedy — that it took place at a suburban shopping centre — has put a regular family venue at the forefront of their own and their children’s minds.

So how can you tell if your child is struggling to process the events and what is the best way to support them?

How to tell if your child is struggling to cope 

The key thing to look for, according to experts, is a change in your child’s behaviour.

Michael Burge, the director of the Australian College of Trauma Treatment, said this could include your child becoming more withdrawn, being reluctant to go out, asking lots of questions, acting out aggressively or having sleep issues.

“You’ll notice because there will be a change of behaviour — some parents are well and truly tuned in,” he said.

Child staring out to sea

Mental health is an increasingly important issue for young people.(Unsplash.com/Pexels/CC0)

Kids Helpline national director Leo Hede said children who become withdrawn might be on their phones more.

“Depending on their age they might be caught up in some doomscrolling — keep an eye out.”

How do you respond to your child’s concerns?

The best way to help children process these events is to be available to them and be ready to ask them about it.

Mr Hede said it was important to take the time to be present and not dismiss children’s fears and concerns.

“Sometimes we can default to minimising. Really listen to what children are saying and respond encouragingly to their emotions,” he said.

“Reassure them it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to have emotions.

“You want to establish that they are physically and emotionally safe but provide space to answer their questions honestly.”

Depressed Teenager sits against a old wooden fence

Children and teens can be affected by coverage of traumatic news events.(Matthew Brown: Getty Images )

Mr Hede said don’t settle for an “Are you okay?” and “Fine” interaction.

“Do a bit of digging: say, ‘Tell me what fine is like for you at the moment?'”

Mr Burge also cautioned parents against overreacting or showing too much anxiety themselves, because it could be contagious.

“Just try and maintain a balanced approach. Focus on being responsive.

“Encourage them to come and talk to you about anything that may distressing for them.”

How do you address specific details? 

With the Bondi event, there are specific details that may be particularly worrisome to children.

The first is that the shocking events took place in a shopping centre, a regular family venue and community hub for many families.

Mr Burge said some families may choose to shop at smaller local centres for a small time, while others may choose not to let it stop them.

“Just reassure children they are perfectly safe and this is an unusual occurrence.”

Mr Hede suggested acknowledging that there was an awful thing that happened “but there are shopping centres all around Australia that are safe and police are doing even more now to help us to be safe”.



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