Most professionals understand that networking is critical for career success, and the data support this belief. According to a LinkedIn survey, nearly 80 percent of professionals consider networking essential for career advancement. The same study found that 35 percent of participants secured new opportunities, business deals, and jobs via casual messaging on LinkedIn.
Despite its importance, networking can feel intimidating, especially when approached from a self-serving mindset. Many believe it’s about self-promotion or merely expanding a contact list. However, the most powerful and enduring networks are built on genuine relationships, grounded in a focus on helping others. The key to this shift in approach can be captured by five simple words: How can I help you?
The Power Of An Others-Focused Mindset
Shifting your focus from “What can I get?” to “How can I help?” will fundamentally transform your networking efforts and the way you think about networking. Research shows that those who adopt an altruistic mindset tend to build more enduring relationships. Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton School and author of Give and Take, found that givers often reach higher levels of success compared to those who focus solely on self-promotion. That’s because givers build trust, respect, and loyalty by helping others without expecting anything in return. For the 40 percent of professionals who dislike networking, focusing on helping others can make the process more enjoyable, and even fulfilling.
The Benefits Of Being Others-Focused In Networking
Leading with “How can I help you?” signals that you prioritize the other person’s needs. This sets you apart in a world where many networkers are focused on their own goals. Here are the benefits of adopting this approach:
Build Trust and Credibility
Consistently offering help builds a reputation as a reliable, trustworthy professional. People are more likely to turn to you for advice, collaboration, or opportunities because they know your intentions are genuine.
Increase Your Influence
Helping others generates a sense of reciprocity. According to the Harvard Business Review, those who assist others within a networking context are often perceived as more influential in their professional circles.
Open Doors to Unseen Opportunities
Offering help gives you unique insights into others’ challenges, goals, and projects. This deeper understanding can reveal collaboration opportunities that might have been missed in a purely transactional conversation.
Foster Long-Term Relationships
Genuine relationships require time and effort to build. When your networking approach revolves around helping others, you’re more likely to form lasting professional connections. These mutually beneficial relationships eventually become a valuable support system for personal and career growth.
Improve Your Skills, Increase Your Knowledge
Actively seeking ways to assist others challenges you to grow. Whether you’re solving a problem, sharing insights, or making introductions, your efforts to help often result in expanding your expertise.
How To Implement The “How Can I Help You?” Approach
It’s relatively easy to adopt this others-focused mindset and establish a habit of asking, “How can I help you?”
Be Genuine
When you ask, “How can I help you?” ensure that your offer is authentic. People can see through insincerity. Approach every interaction with genuine curiosity.
Arrive with a Hypothesis
Dorie Clark, bestselling author of The Long Game, suggests that – where possible – there’s an even better alternative to directly asking “How can I help you?” She recommends researching the other person and developing provisional hypotheses about how you might help them. For instance, if you know they’re looking to grow their business, you might have some good professional contacts in mind whom you could offer to introduce them to. “Sometimes, a contact won’t know how you can help them, because they’re unaware of who you know, or what your full skillset is,” says Clark. “But if you come with a suggestion, they can either gratefully agree, or redirect you to other forms of help that may fit their needs better.”
Listen Actively
Networking is more about listening than talking. Pay close attention to what the other person says and look for ways to provide value. Help might be as simple as offering advice, sharing information, or making introductions.
Follow Through
Offering help is the first step, but following through is where real impact happens. If you commit to doing something, commit to delivering.
Expand Your Circle
Don’t limit your mindset of helping only people you know well. Offer assistance to new contacts, colleagues, and even those outside your immediate network to expand your reach and create more opportunities for authentic connections.
A powerful professional network thrives on meaningful connections grounded in a genuine intention to help others. When you lead with those five simple words, the results will speak for themselves.
As a pioneer in personal branding and expert in virtual communication, William Arruda empowers professionals to shine online. Get his free Guide: 9 Fun and Easy Ways to Rev Up Your Online Meetings and Presentations.