“Instead of seeing life’s challenges as obstacles, I see them as an obstacle course — a fascinating array of tests that I’m curious to see if I can pass,” says community builder Maryam Banikarim. Telling the story of her experience emigrating from Iran as a child, Banikarim shares how her search for belonging led her … Read more
There’s nothing like a great connection with someone, but when a relationship ends it can be hurtful, leaving you endlessly searching “How to Get Over Someone.” Maybe even worse, if it never begins in the way that we want it to, getting over an unrequited love is just as hard. So what does one do … Read more
This article is part of SELF’s second annual Rest Week, an editorial package dedicated to doing less. If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally, is impossible without genuine downtime. With that in mind, we’ll be publishing articles up until the new year to help … Read more
There are those co-workers who you just don’t want to be friends with. Sometimes, the feeling will be mutual. Other times it won’t be. In the latter case, uncomfortable situations can arise. For example, they might consistently ask you to lunch. No matter how many excuses you invent, they don’t seem to be deterred. There … Read more
It was last Monday that it truly hit. The recognition that I was going to be seeing my children for half of their childhood since divorcing. My kitchen clock showed 3.15pm, their school pick-up time. A wash of sadness came over me as I thought about them bundling out of school without me to scoop … Read more
Address a pinch before it becomes a crunch. getty We’ve all heard the clichés: Pick your battles. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Good advice, to a point, but for the conflict-averse, it is possible to be too selective about raising issues. Avoiding conflict can make matters worse—when … Read more
There are many environments where it would benefit you to check any people-pleasing tendencies at the door: work, romantic relationships, even friendships. Holidays at your in-laws’ house is not one of them, says Sara Jane Ho, a Harvard-trained etiquette expert. Ho is the founder of the finishing school Institute Sarita, host of the Netflix show … Read more
“Hello, lovely to meet you. So, how much do you weigh?” Don’t worry, you needn’t answer unless you wish to. But you’ll agree it’s a useful reminder of how not to make small talk if you want to succeed socially this Christmas. You might assume it’s intuitive to avoid highly personal questions when shooting the … Read more