These days I’ll pretty much serve plate after plate of vegetarian dishes at my parties depending on what my local fruttivendolo [greengrocer] tells me is in season. Right now that means fava beans, artichokes and fresh peas. Another thing the Italians taught me is that recipes don’t need to be convoluted to be special.
They can make the most spectacular dish out of three ingredients (one of which is always olive oil). So, something simple like fresh fava beans with pecorino and olive oil is so much more fun to serve than olives for an aperitivo. Of course, this is Italy, so I always have veal meatballs from Antico Pastificio Moscova for any meat eaters.
Do you have a party playlist?
I have an aperitivo mix and a boogie mix, both of which are a combination of my go-to 1970s and 1980s good-mood hits like Bill Withers and Whitney Houston, mixed with some 1990s and early 2000s hits from Amy Winehouse. No matter the event, the music at my house is always ‘bouncy’. It’s good to have a hobby musician in the mix, too – if my boyfriend is at the party, he always ends up playing music and singing at some point in the evening. If you have anyone at your dinner party who can sing or play an instrument, it’s a game-changer. I now keep a guitar on hand for any pop-up performances.
How do you put the guest list together?
Start with the people you really like and love. Those who make you feel good about yourself. Don’t invite people into your house who make you feel insecure. You may have the urge to invite someone who is very ‘cool’, but if they don’t make you feel good about yourself, please don’t. It’s such a buzzkill. Also, you’ll have performance anxiety all night. That being said, feel free to invite people you don’t know that well and want to get to know better to mix in with some of your mainstays.
It’s absolutely fine if not everyone at your party knows one another. The common tie is you, so if you’ve inviting people who really like you, they already have something in common. And, if one of your guests asks at the last minute to bring (or simply shows up with) an unexpected guest, swallow your ego and say yes. I’ve yet to have an unexpected plus-one who didn’t end up being a great idea.
How do you help everyone to mix and socialise? (We’re Brits, after all.)
I’m an extrovert but I have found that whenever I’m speaking to a shy guest, all they need is a sense of security to help them open up. Sit close (but not too close), really listen to what they’re saying, look into their eyes and make a meaningful connection. I find games can also be a great ice-breaker. I was recently in Mustique with a group who didn’t know each other very well and we pulled out a game of charades and it was hilarious.
Giving guests tasks such as, ‘Can you help me in the kitchen?’, or, ‘Could you set the table for me?’ is also an easy way to engage people, and add comfort and ease to the whole experience. When all else fails, use pet therapy. Literally, just holding my dog Pepper [pictured above] in your arms for three minutes is better than any medication or outside substance could ever be.
Do you have any conversational gambits that you find always work?
The number one thing that works every time in Italy – and practically everywhere else – is talking about food. What the best meal of your life was, what’s in season, where to get the best panettone, what was your mother’s speciality… It’s all about pleasure. Conversational gambits should always be about things that bring you pleasure – NB, not politics.
Vacations are also always a hot topic, but please take out the elitist stuff – talk about things that are free to everyone. At some point in the evening, I almost always end up talking about psychedelics (I don’t serve them, of course – food and psychedelics don’t really mix). It is a subject that seems everyone is very interested in and curious about. It always gets the conversation going.
How many people are coming along?
To be honest, my favourite dinners are just me and three or four girlfriends sitting round my kitchen table laughing and eating. When it comes to bigger celebrations, the more the merrier! If I want to host a bunch of people, I’ll almost always keep it self-serve and standing with a huge, bountiful buffet in the middle of my dining room so it looks like a Renaissance feast. That way, it still feels festive and special but laid-back.