How to ease into a satisfying retirement life

My research team at Harvard Business School and I spent a decade interviewing people to uncover the psychological, relational and life restructuring challenges of retiring — and how best to navigate them.

We discovered that identity issues can loom large for people. That’s especially true in the early phases of retiring, when they grapple with the decision about when and how to leave, and try to detach psychologically from their careers. 

These concerns can be especially difficult for those who identify closely with their work.

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If you want to have a smooth transition into a satisfying retirement life, there are many questions you can ask yourself — chief among them, “Do I have enough money saved?” — before leaving work behind. 

But by far, one of the most important ones is, “Who will I be without my work?”

Here is my best advice on how to answer this for yourself. 

Even people who don’t think they’ve identified closely with their work throughout their careers can be blindsided by identity issues. 

Take Irene, one of the 120 subjects we followed. Before she retired, she liked her job in the tech world, enjoyed her team, and respected her company. Her work had never defined her. Yet it took her four years to take the plunge and officially leave.

When she asked herself, “Well, why don’t you just retire?” her answer was, “People do respect you while you’re still working. And after, maybe not so much.”

That identity of “successful career woman” had been more important to her than she’d realized.

So what can you do if you can’t fully answer the question of who you will be without your work?

1. Start by asking yourself the identity question we asked our interviewees: “Would I be more likely to say that my work is what I do or my work is who I am?” If the honest answer is that your job feels like who you are, that insight could help you consider to what extent your strong work identity holds you back from starting a possibly wonderful retirement life. Or at least complicates your transition.
2. List your core self-identities, along with your most salient needs, values, goals, and preferences — as they currently are, and as you imagine (or wish) them to be in the foreseeable future. For example, a person might list “leader,” “friendly,” “mother,” “coach,” and “physical fitness,” “companionship,” and “meaningful activity.”

Now think about the aspects of your pre-retirement self you’d like to carry over into your retirement life in some way. We call this “identity bridging.” 

A retired company executive we call Victor had identified strongly as a leader in his company. He bridged that “leader” identity in a deeply satisfying way by stepping into a leadership position in his church not long after leaving the office.

Soon after retiring from the partnership of his consulting firm, another one of our interviewees, Jay, said his job was “who I was.” Throughout his long career, he had lost sight of — or, perhaps, had never discovered — who he “really” was.

Coming to a new understanding, or discovery, became his big retirement project. 

Jay reactivated a long-dormant identity as a “hot rodder,” from the years in his young life that he was active in customizing old cars, racing them, riding in rallies and enjoying the camaraderie of that community. 

When he reduced his work commitment to half-time for six months, he bought a hot rod and began customizing it. To Jay, this felt like an important step toward discovering who he “really” was, without work as a major context in his life.

And Irene? Soon after finally retiring, she moved with her still-working husband to their nearby vacation home on Cape Cod and oversaw its renovation. Within a year, she joined an ocean conservation group and became active in many water-oriented activities. She had developed an important new post-retirement identity: “ocean person.”

Ultimately, as you explore retirement, consider who you are in your career life, which pieces of your working self you’ll be able to take with you, and which ones you want to leave behind. Then allow yourself to think expansively. What new identities might you enjoy developing in this next stage of life? 

If you can do that honestly, you’re more likely to find a satisfying retirement on the other side. 

Teresa M. Amabile is the Edsel Bryant Ford Professor of Business Administration, Emerita at Harvard Business School. Teresa received her Ph.D. in psychology from Stanford University, and she is the co-author of “Retiring: Creating a Life That Works for You.”

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Excerpt adapted from “Retiring: Creating a Life That Works for You” by Teresa M. Amabile, Lotte Bailyn, Marcy Crary, Douglas T. Hall, Kathy E. Kram. Copyright © 2025 by Teresa M. Amabile et al. Adapted with permission of Routledge. All rights reserved.